If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
