i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
