Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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