____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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