its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
