When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
