turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
