hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
