ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
