Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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