Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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