Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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