whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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