is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
