I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
it's like iHOP with fire
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize