i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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