Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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