Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
