Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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