My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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