just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
