I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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