wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
