did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
