college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
