What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Randomize
