i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
