just tell him i said nine months
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
