Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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