It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Randomize
