She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
