the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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