so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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