On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
