3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
