shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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