im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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