every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize