Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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