Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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