No, you can still breathe under the balls.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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