This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
