The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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