And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
