Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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