I'm eating all of the evidence.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
