i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
