thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
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I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
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I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
COCAINE IS GR8
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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