But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
