I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
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Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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