so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
