Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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