Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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