Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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