I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
