We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
