I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
