I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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