Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
