And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
