in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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