He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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