when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize