I cannot find my penis.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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