I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
