Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
