I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Operation Purity has been aborted
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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