the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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