Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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