her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
